speed

It was essentially about speed. M T Ottz was finding it hard to consider fully. Whilst in my turbo car he stood peering in the open window grinning and saying I've seen a wild turkey. It was bollocks coz they're only in India and stuff but me and my animals knew this. Get in said I. It was like being someone's mother. He couldn't help grinning. Then he realized he was sitting in a car with a couple of chameleans and I said shit lets start up the engine. Ottz had a brother named DOU who knew more about speed. Anyway I was going to express myself in more verbal terms after the test.

Vroom. It was 4000 revs and a chasis full of car and we did a thousand yards in the dry. The next evening we slid around bends until we laughed. But it was all remarkably spirited. Then OTTZ crashed his sister's ford ka. Oh my god! He exclaimed. But it was too late. He was upside down and a man who was working class and not at all articulate to my own liking came to get the car. He was aid in full. Essentially an animal at heart he would not have done this out of kindness. It was hill living country life law. What a bastard I thought days later as I lay in the bungalow with the mosquitoes buzzing outside.

DOU came roaring past in his Ariel superlight at that point. Then there was lots of banging noises everywhere because of the hail. But someone threw some flint at Ramsbottom. I said that could have hit my friend and I hurled it back striking the man in the eye ball and he lay down dead with blood pouring out his entrails. OTTZ then said looking shocked that it was like one of his turkeys but before he could finish DOU Ariel had broken down and was like f*** that but I was like ok lets do motoring. So we tested the engine all standing around. We then all struck china cups with metal spoons to see if it made any difference. Then we were like. Oh. DOU put his up against his ear very close. A verbal wave he said. It was something to do with the engine. I didn't have a clue because I was there with my GPS thinking about toilets. OTTZ then said that he was going to make a car for turkeys but DOU and Ramsbottom slapped him in to sanity. Don't be a woman was his retort. At that point JUS who was Ottz's girlfriend took the car and put it at full revs. But up a hill. OMG. Actually she turned out the better driver. She overtook several tractors at a huge ploughing festival but sadly a falcon flew in to the bonnet. JUS didn't know about the falconry display.

We all had tea at this stage and polished our cars. Then we measured our oil. Then we put all our tool kits in to order. Then DOU said it reminded him of a story but OTTZ interrupted because he was whining about doing his best at that point. I suppose losers do their best. I don't know because my name is Michael HIll and I was watching all these events from a VW parked down the street in front of a low loader imported vehicle. Unfortunately at this stage my handbrake failed and I smashed its lights in.

THE END